Monday, March 30, 2009

Completely FRUSTRATED

UUUURRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I am so frustrated with Andy's work situation I could just scream...I just laid in bed for an hour trying to go back to sleep, feeling completely bitter and so ready for it to be over. I actually kept track last week on my calendar and he put in 120+ hours last week, they are suppose to cap it at 88 hours a week, but it hardly ever happens. I know what you must be thinking, I am bitter because I'm on my own with the kids a lot, NO. Seriously, I am way, way past that...got over that one a long time ago, I am fed up with them sucking the life from my husband whom I absolutely and completely LOVE, he is utterly exhausted. Every morning I feel completely helpless as he leaves, I do what I can to show my support, but on a morning like this where he got home at 2:20 a.m. and was gone by 4:30 a.m. what can I say to a man who quietly pushes on. He is not bitter, never complains, he amazes me with his goodness and character...I know he wants it to be over, but IT'S NOT and he just isn't the type to wallow in it. Well, I AM! How can they ask this of any person? It is brutal, plain and simple. I literally pray he can just make it to work and home without falling asleep at the wheel, let alone...do his job safely. I know, I know, this is the life we chose, I am grateful he loves what he does enough to go through this, although there are times along the way we have both wondered if it is worth it. Okay...so if you've made to the end of my sob story, thanks for letting me vent my deep frustration...this is, in the great scheme of things, just for a time, and will end. I do have much, so very much, to be grateful for and I'm not acting like it right now, it's just tough to watch him go through this.

10 comments:

Shumaker said...

Jenna you are grateful. You show great concern for your husband that is all. I think we all can say we have gone through that for a time. How ever not for as long or as many hours for mine. Well hang in there it will be over soon. And vent away girl we all have to do it some times.

Janice said...

Jenna, I'm sorry about your hubby's schedule. Stay focused on summer time and hopefully everything will calm down a little bit when you get to your family's next destination. Unlike Tara, I've only got a little more than a year of this mess. (Them being gone all the time and we will have him home for a season - theoretically)

jaesi said...

just think....in a few months all that can be overtime pay!
then you can go buy something to make you feel better ;)
*I cant wait for overtime pay*

Love ya!

allyn said...

now i feel even worse for even thinking of asking him to come stitch up my husband's thumb.
i do remember things being bad and it is incredible how they keep plugging along. and i totally agree, it's not about being left home with the kids. it's about them killing themselves physically. i can sympathize. and you can totally rant!

Merrill Family said...

I love that you are so strong and have such a great concern for your husband. I understand. I have concerns for Delvern all the time. He gets so down when the work is just not there. I'll tell you what... Let's take Andy's hours, split them and my husband will take half. If only it was that easy. Love ya

Cre8tive Granny said...

We're with ya Jen... We are always praying for Andy regarding his schedule, and you're right, he wouldn't complain. He's just a dedicated husband, father and employee. To me his character is amazing. No wonder others think so highly of him. Must be nice to have such a fantastic guy and he's yours forever... He is fortunate to have a loving, concerned wife like you. And it's alright to feel a huge bit of anger for awhile and even shout it out loud if it helps. There are many of us who love you both and care about what it might be doing to him. How exhausted he must get!!! I know Heavenly Father is aware of Andy and will continue to bless him and watch over him, He knows him the best! We'll keep praying for him and do whatever we can to be supportive in any way. I know you would take it away if possible... Keep on being so supportive of him, he'll be so appreciative to have a loving and understanding companion.

Becky said...

Oh, Jenna,I know your pain. Ryan's schedule has gotten much better but I still have post-traumatic stress syndrome anytime he is gone at night. It's just an awful, awful thing they do to doctors at the hospital!

Grace said...

Jenn, I am sitting here crying because I am so grateful that my brother found such an amazing woman to marry!!! I am so glad that he has you to love and support him. That is all he needs Jen. Just keep loving him and spoiling him (you know you do - and he loves it!) and he will get through. Only 3 months to go!!

The Barton Family said...

JEnna- I am sorry! I hope things will get better soon. I am sure he appreciates knowing that you are home supporting him and taking care of things. I admire you!

heidigoseek said...

blog rants are very therapeutic. i know it'll get better. but grrrrr...it stinks right now.
just remember, this too shall pass and then you can have all the ann taylor you want:)